solace

 hiya, folks! been a little under a month but i couldn't wait to write another post; i hate that i'd left it on such an absolutely dreary note. happy to say there's nothing depressing in this post!

i ended up moving in with my mom! my dad was pissed as FUCK but i think it was the right decision. i genuinely feel like my depression was fuckin' CURED man i've never felt so at ease in my life. it's crazy how the little things really build up. 

i've been playing games with an online buddy of mine and i absolutely adore him. he's just really nice and funny and i THINK we have a good time together, although i guess i wouldn't really be a good judge of that (because i am insanely socially awkward!). either way, i'm having a lot of fun :-) 

i also have been taking some casual intro courses at community college, and i'm enjoying them so far. in one of them, there's a guy who i worked with at a camp over the past summer, so it was really cool seeing him!! we chat in class and added each other on social media, and we chat a bit on there too. it's just nice having interactions with people LMAO who woulda thought??

i've been getting super into anime lately... i don't know why i've decided 2023 was the year for that. honestly, what's always put me off from shows is that they're often so LONG, either season-wise or episode-wise. a lot of animes have 12 episode seasons and most if not all are ~20 minutes long, and that's absolutely perfect for me. some of my favorites so far have been chainsaw man (denji....), beastars (but only season 2, and specifically legoshi), and one punch man (saitama...). i'm currently watching season two of spy x family and i love it as well! i've decided my favorite genre is very much comedic action with a cute main male character LOL. those seem to always do the trick for me :-)

otherwise... i'm not really doing much. i'm spending time with my mom and her two dogs, so that's nice. i still do the minecraft server although i've been contemplating resigning from one of my roles on there, if not all. but i feel like it's kind of important for me to have those responsibilities, so i don't know what i'm going to do about that. 

my thoughts of suicide and the entire month of december feels sooooo far in the past now. it's kind of insane how much better i feel now. i don't know how i feel about it, in a way, though. like if i feel this much better, did i ever even have depression to begin with? has the past, like, 6 years or whatever been a LIE???? or is this happiness just a phase??? it's genuinely hard to tell, but whatever. i'll just enjoy it while i can!!!

that's all i have to say, i think! i haven't really been doing much, but everything feels a bit grander in this new light. happy to still be here.

have a good rest of january, folks!